bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
