i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
