That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
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