i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
