thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
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