Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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