Having a random hookup so left but love u
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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