I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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