doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
