This is not my ceiling
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
