Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Randomize
