What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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