Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
