it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
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