Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
i would punch a child for taco bell
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I just want to make out with him forever
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
