My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
Randomize
