Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
