So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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