he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
