She's JV to your varsity
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
