I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
