Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
