Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
These tits shall not be calmed
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
