Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
