So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize
