Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
