can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Randomize
