whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
