Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
