You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
