why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
