Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
