your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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