i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Randomize
