two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
