Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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