she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Randomize
