Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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