Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
