You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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