And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
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