and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
