he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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