How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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