i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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