She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
