i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
