dude i'm inner monologue high
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
two words...techno handjob
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
