she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
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