its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
