I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
